t h e r e m i n i s c e n t s t a r - -
v2.o -star.
thereminiscentstar .
portia jolene ; posh * lene * (:
LALAPOLYPOCKETCHOONG ;
going 19 .
nafa svaf .
attached . =)
they call me starshine ; tinkerbell ; queenLALA*
191286
broken; and worthless .
hyper .
not what i seem to be .
tend to lose myself in thoughts .
daydreamerr .
sadistic .
black ; hotpeenk ; orange ; white ; purple .
lamee . extremely at times .
comforts people ; but yearns comfort from friends .
cynical .
imperfect .
stubborn .
bossy .
extremely fragile ;
has a soft mushy heart .
am redundant whereever i am . =)
yearns to fly *
je'taime .
the Man Up there . =))
him. =D
churchies .
EEYOREE !
monokuro boo .
cinnamoroll .
starrs .
my telescope . also known as my WIFE . =]
butterflies .
qing tian wawa .
windmills .
carousels .
dancing .
clubbing .
esplanade .
east coast .
southern most point .
changi airport .
marina south .
to be a unique !
blowing bubbles .
jewellery making . =D
taking black&white photographs .
photoshopp !
princess .
cousins shannon&jamie !
sad songs .
piano ; sax ; guitar . (but can't play any)
Saturday, March 06, 2004
haha. i'm back in the game. =) its time to play? oh well. if i can even afford to do so that is. blah ..
i guess everything that we're going through these days are just like.. this. mono as ever. same old cycle. same old problems. same old things. simplicity carries yet another new meaning somehow. doesn't it?
human affections i rather not have. endless agony i can no longer bear. wash away my pain. i can never do. allowing someone else to do so isn't something i wanna do. crawling back into my shell and this time its for real.. and if you'll never see me again.. tell me.. what would you do?
history repeats itself over and over again. its not her fault. its mine. maybe i'm just not good enough for her. maybe we're just not meant to be. blame her not for she's doing what's right. at least the truth was thrown under the spotlight from her mouth instead of others. should i be glad? maybe i should. at least i heard the truth. at least i did.
but did i have to withness it all? did i have to alert myself so? did i not ask? why did you not speak? you say you aren't the kind that would speak up.. but do you think i am? neither am i.. but have i been doing so? i have. why? cos i want US*& to work out. but hell. what am i talking about. there isn't a US*& anymore and there never will be. its the end like all the past going-ons. same old story. same old lies.
did i have to lie to myself? tat you would change.. that you wouldn't be like the others.. and prove to me once again that promises are meant to be broken? did you know what you were saying when people asked bout US*& the other time? do you even remember what you said and how glad i was i to hear it? you don't. for your actions tells me so.
did you have to deny.. when i asked you over and over again? did you not even have a clue. or get the hint that i knew it all? you looked and me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't. but you did. yes you did. so why did you lie? and if you did lie. why didn't you just go on lying? did you have to break it to me? what if i didn't ask for a second talk? would this have happened the way it did? i don't wish to think. nor to imagine.
did you have to pretend nothing happened? was i not there. could you have been more sensitive.? i can no longer speak when you're around. for the words would never come out. why did you just shush up about what went on the other time? you said you chose me over her. but do you know.. i wished you didn't? i wish you didn't even choose me at all. perhaps the pain would lessen much more. it was your words. your tone. the look in your eyes that betrayed your words. she's a lucky girl. she really is. a crush you said. that was what she meant. but sadly. its more than that. much more than that.
what's left in this empty heart of mine. emotions.. thoughts.. and feelings that are yours. and yours alone.. but did you know? would you know? i don't think you do.. and neither do i think you would. everything's washed put into the open sea. feelings that you said you still have for me i can't see. neither can i feel. guess i'm really naive. i should've known. and maybe i did. but i just ignored it. see? told you its my fault. sigh.
say it isn't so.. tell me you're not leaving.. say you changed your mind now.. that I am only dreaming.. that this is not goodbye.. this is starting over.. if you wanna know.. i don't wanna let go.. so say it isn't so.. ten to five at least we tried.. we're still alive but hope just died.. as they close the door behind you.. whistle blows and tons of steel.. shake the ground beneath the wheels.. as I wish I never found you.
How can I be smiling when you're gone.. Will I be strong enough to carry on? miles and miles to go before I can say.. before I can lay my love for you to sleep.. oh.. darling oh..i got miles and miles to go.. before anyone will ever hear me laugh again.
the awkward last dance.. the funniest one i ever had.. those memories would only co-exist in my mind.. contradicting. how much this song tells. how true this song is. for the both of us.
I wonder where you where
I wonder what your thinking about tonight
I wonder
Maybe your alone
Maybe you've been crying just like me
I wonder
I don't know why I lost your touch
Maybe I wanted to be loved too much
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
It's been a rainy afternoon
Now I'm Staring at the moon
Thinking we got too serious, too soon
I told you every day
I told you every night in every way
I love you
Maybe you got scared
Maybe I have nothing else to say
But I love you
So baby now my life's a mess
Cause I'm
cos I couldn't love you any less
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
It's been a rainy afternoon
Now I'm Staring at the moon
Thinking we got too serious, too soon
Too soon
It's not right
It's not fair
It's in you baby cuts like a knife
what if you were the love of my life
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
we got too serious to soon
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
too serious too soon
I wanted you too love me
It's been a rainy afternoon
Now I'm Staring at the moon
Thinking we got too serious, too soon..
like i said over and over again. too fast. too serious. too soon. and guess what? love really doesn't bother how fast you fall. i'm missing you badly. my heart's tearing. sigh* stop it.. just. stop. it. all.
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind
For the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I'm down, I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down...
I guess I'm down...
To my last cry...
;elysium.
6:34:00 PM
eternitywithYOU.
Zen Neeon .
new laptop .
Christian Dior - Dolce Vita .
Corrinne May's 2 albums .
Plumb's albums .
Dishwalla's albums .
Nicholas Spark's books .
Levis 501 & Diva Jeans .
Chronicles of Narnia .
a new starglobe . =|
my daisy rock star bass .
